by: Gene Simmons
Ask any of my kids and they’ll tell you immediately that you’ll find it in the dictionary between “sh—“ and “syphilis”. Wasn’t that absolutely cruel and unkind of me to instill in them a nearly total distain for the concept of “sympathy”? With so many individuals in the world suffering in so many ways, how could I possibly be so heartless? I am without a doubt, an uncaring, evil SOB!
Well, maybe not. Here are a couple of things to think about. First, I’ll give you my definition of sympathy: “A sharing or agreement of feelings with another person”. It’s not exactly what shows in the dictionary but it’s pretty danged close. I know, so what’s the problem with that? It’s showing caring, compassion and maybe even love isn’t it? Hang on for a sec. Let’s take a look at another word.
“Empathy”. Again, here’s Gene’s definition: “The ability to intellectually identify with and understand the source and manifestation of another’s feelings - or situation.”
See the distinction here between the two words? “Sympathy” basically implies that I’m going to feel your feelings and as a result, experience your mental and emotional disruption. “Empathy” on the other hand, implies that I’m able to logically understand why you feel as you do without subjecting myself to your emotional trauma and expending of energy.
How can this distinction affect us personally? Here is look at both sides of the “sympathy” coin. If you’re the type of person who has been conditioned (programmed) to consistently look for sympathy from others – for whatever reason, just stop it! Golly, all you’re doing is splattering your friends with your yucky feelings and on top of it, you’re even asking them to join you in your pity room. Whoopee, won’t that be fun? Now you can have other folks whining and moaning right along with you. Turn on some “get-me-down” music too. That’ll add significantly to the ambiance at the victim’s table.
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