The question is not whether you should have feelings, but rather are the feelings I’m experiencing helping me to achieve my goal(s) or are they hindering this process?
Generally speaking, feelings of anger, anxiety, depression, and guilt tend to produce behaviors that hinder our life goals. That’s why we want to change them. Not because they are intrinsically good or bad, not because we shouldn’t feel them, but simply because they tend to interfere with having our wants and desires met.
Like the weather, if conditions are right, it rains. If the thoughts are right for anxiety, you will experience anxiety. If the thoughts are right for depression, then depression it is. Fortunately for all of us, altering atmospheric conditions is much more difficult than altering our thoughts.
Although changing thoughts is not easy at times, it is much more controllable when you are taught how, then practice.
Anger, anxiety, depression, and guilt are what we refer to as the 4 Blocks to Happiness. Anxiety, for instance, tends to produce behaviors such as avoidance, isolation, self-medicating (drinking, drugging, and overeating) and many negative physiological changes.
These may include lack of concentration, memory loss, muscle tension, headaches, diarrhea or other bowel disorders. Unless you find benefit in experiencing these symptoms, these are why we want to change these feelings. They are uncomfortable, and not goal oriented.
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