by: Graham and Julie
When we were talking the other day we started to think about our heroes when we were young. After we had discussed the usual film star and sports stars that we idolised I remembered Derek. Derek was a couple of years ahead of me in school and he had everything; he always got straight ‘A’s’ and was formidable on the football field as well as one of the fastest over 100 metres. What’s more he didn’t appear to work at it. When the rest of us were ‘slaving’ away at our homework or sweating buckets trying to impress on the football field or athletics track he just turned up and got on with it. A natural, was how one of our teachers described him.
Natural or hero, Derek caused me and others a lot of pain. His skills and our hero worship caused us to begin the ‘beating yourself up’ process. You know the; ‘I’m not good enough’. ‘If only I could do that’.’ I couldn’t possibly do that’. The self defeating traits of inadequacy, insecurity and worthlessness and constant comparison with others all started here. With Derek, we started the comparison programme.
Comparison is just another name for subservience. When you compare yourself to someone you are really accepting that you are impressed by them, you want them to influence your life and are willingly bowing down to their perceived skills and abilities. The problem with subservience is that you can never be free. It takes away all your happiness and power. You end up confused and wilting like a flower.
The fact is comparing yourself with others not only stops you from being successful, it’s destructive. As, Elizabeth Fisher an American author, stated;
‘comparison is a death knell to sibling harmony’.
Mor >>>
